Introverts – The Reflective Minority

In a world dominated by gregarious extroverts, with 3 extroverts to every 1 introvert, the introverted temperament is not always seen in a positive light. Society often views introverts as dull, shy and socially deficient. While extroverts are often seen as personable, energetic, friendly and open.

However, introverts are not necessarily what they may appear, and shouldn’t be judged too harshly. Yes compared to extroverts they do take longer to respond to situations and are not as easy to read.  Introverts are naturally designed to think before they speak and place great importance on what people say. They need time away from activities to reflect and process information. Introverts are more in tune with their inner world and enjoy thinking and exploring their feelings. They have a tendency to keep socialising to a minimum as they find being around other people drains their energy. Time alone helps them restore their energy levels in preparation for the next round of social engagements. Once introverts feel more at ease with others they can be incredibly insightful, loving and are extremely good at developing long term relationships.

Temperament according to neuroscientists is hardwired and is not something that we can change. Introverts and extroverts operate differently, it is like being a PC or a MAC, they both have different operating systems. So should you find yourself in a relationship that is having difficulties, it could be because both individuals have different temperaments. If the relationship is to survive then a good starting point is to recognise if you and your partner are more extroverted or introverted. The following quiz designed by Marti Laney, author of The Introverted Advantage will provide you with the answer http://changequestcoaching.files.com/2010/01/introvert-extrovert-questionnaire1.pdf.

Often in my relationship coaching practice with couples, one of the main reasons for disagreement is because the couple are less aware of how they work as individuals. Once people understand themselves and their partner this leads to greater awareness, which then opens up the possibility for truly accepting each other.

For indepth information about personality types check out the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) free test http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp. Based on the work of Carl Jung the test is designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.

Cartoon by Elizabeth Wagele